Arjun Badola


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Stock market helps you a lot in the aspect of understanding when to quit and not be attached if the conditions were not right in the first place.

Understanding when to sell a stock and having rules not only helps you in the stock market but a similar approach could be applied towards your experiences in life.

Clarity on when to quit - be it a relationship, goal, etc. will help you to be in a better mental space and sometimes making things workout can act against you and hinder your mental peace.

People generally refer to them as “Red/Green flags”. I look for Core Values.

For me it’s all about the efforts you put in.

Result is irrelevant for most part as it is something which is out of our control. But effort is something which we can work on and holds the utmost importance.

Here is the mindset I follow which was shared with me by my mentor (@ishmohit1) -

Any action which you take can be categorized in the following four categories:

My belief in that one should always value the actions which fall in the first two categories.

As in the long term only the first two categories will survive and build your character/personality.

You can fake it around for a few instances and achieve a good outcome till your luck supports but eventually luck runs out and you are caught in a bad situation.

One thing about efforts with respect to relationships is that one doesn’t have to prove whether it is rational to feel that way. It is a feeling which is felt by that person when there is less effort being put in.

There can be “n” number of rational reasons why your friend/partner didn’t put in the effort but that is secondary. The primary problem becomes that such feeling was felt. It is not something which is developed by just one instance, rather the feeling of someone not putting in the effort in the relationship is compounded over a time when small things start to add up.

This is difficult to explain but there is always a grey area in any effort which one should have put in for maintaining a relationship.

During the time of decision of whether to put that effort there is a dilemma which comes up. Either put in the effort and forgo the activity you are currently doing or would do at that time VS come up with a rational excuse.

Your rational excuse would work. Person might feel bad that you didn’t show up or didn’t put in the effort but your rational excuse would act as a cushion. The problem starts when such instances are repeated often.

To simplify it is a matter of priority. When you really want to put in that effort you take out time for that person and not provide rational excuses. Few instances of genuine excuses are always normal but if the feeling is felt where a person is not put on the priority shows their lack of willingness towards maintaining the relationship with you.

But sometimes life throws you unexpected problem and people genuinely fail to put in the effort and benefit of doubt could be provided, as Rajeev Vederah, Chairman of Thapar Institute said (link):

“Zindagi ko Jeena Aasan Nahi hota, Zindagi ko Jeena Aasan Banana Padta hai, Kaise? Kuch Shabar karke, Kuch Bardasht Karke, Aur Bahut Kuch, Nazarandaz Karke.”

Thanks to Nityanshi Rao, Tanya Singh, and Pramit Dev Pandey for reading drafts of this.