When things go smoothly, one forgets the underlying quality. Be it the stock market or a relationship.
During a bull run, investors tend to ignore the importance of fundamental qualities of a company and get swayed by the price movements, sometimes valuing cyclical companies like structural ones.
Similarly, in a healthy relationship, the very factors that keep the foundation strong often go unnoticed unless one pauses to reflect. If the system is going smoothly, there are things behind which are making it work at such a pace. On the other hand, if things go south, you would pull out a list of things which are causing you trouble.
This is what I call the Privilege Threshold - where one has pivoted above a certain economic background / lifestyle. There is no harm in thinking above this threshold, but it is important to, occasionally, touch base on the other side to acknowledge the privilege perspective one affords.
On Relationship
In the early stage of a relationship, small gestures, like buying flowers, come naturally. But over time - both get used to it and these gestures start to fade. I believe it is crucial to keep putting in efforts (such actions won’t feel like ‘efforts’ in the first place - but due to lack of any better word) for each other and avoid the mentality of “you have made it” but being together was just the start.
The Privilege Threshold would hit in a relationship, where you would start having “good problems” to have, for example, increase in spending habits because now you are actually living life and going out more.
If you are in a healthy relationship, there would be ‘n’ number of things aligning in order for the wheel to be spinning right for you (which one must not take for granted). Yet it is easier, crib about small stuff when there is turbulence in the wheel, forgetting that the problem they are facing is after crossing the Privilege Threshold which they once prayed for.
On Job
When employed, the thoughts of “the grass is greener on the other side” pops up quite frequently. But there is a thin line between whether one should be grateful for such a job (and consider it as a “this too shall pass” event) or quit. When taking such a call, consider the Privilege Threshold one might have reached due to certain qualitative factors would be availing at their current place.
On Risk
Once someone has crossed this Privilege Threshold, their risk appetite changes. You know if things go south, you have someone to back you up (a safety net). Whereas someone who has not reached such a threshold would first consider survival probably the reason post people choose to stay employed rather than taking the risk of starting a business in a third world country.
Hence, whenever asked to opine upon any situation, one must pull out from such a Privilege Threshold and see from a broader lens. If things went well for you, that might not be the norm. For a matter of fact, when you ask for advice from someone, one must keep such a perspective in their mind to know where this person is coming from.
Inshort
To clarify, this term Privilege Threshold is not to be taken as a negative term - this ‘privilege’ term is also being used for something one has achieved based on their own hard work. The idea is not to make you feel guilty or burden your mind with such a perspective, rather to visit your roots occasionally. Why occasionally? to reap the benefits of your efforts.
Sometimes in this rat race, we tend to run too fast that we start complaining about stuff which people can only dream of. It’s good to be happy for what one has achieved, but reflecting on the Privileged Threshold you are at, is crucial.
Next time you find yourself frustrated by a small inconvenience, ask yourself: Is this a problem I once prayed to have?
“What a privilege to be tired from the work you prayed for. What a privilege to feel overwhelmed by the growth you used to dream about. What a privilege to be challenged by a life you created on purpose. What a privilege to outgrow things you used to settle for.”